End of Year Reflection

Dec 30, 2003 by Lyanna

Okay, people, the year 2003 is almost over and as always, it is time for some end of year reflections. This year has been better for me than last in many ways. And at the same time, there were things which set me thinking. Which had me almost panicking. Not everything is perfect, but will a life ever be perfect? I don’t think so. I guess it is just what you make it.

So what happened?

Januari
I think januari consisted mostly of saying hello to new things, and saying goodbye to old ones. I started a new job and said goodbye to old collegues. I handed in my car, which hurt me more than I thought it would. Especially when I found out on the 11th of januari that the next driver had smashed it to pieces. I bought my new car and loved her. I fought with various companies over things like getting a new phone, and having my domain moved.

Februari
On februari third I was in Utrecht, randomly zapping while The Man no doubt played Tactical Ops, when I hit a channel that was airing live how the Columbia went down. It was almost a re-run of the Challenger accident, which I had also seen live. It kind of set the tone for the rest of the month, which consisted in me worrying and fulminating over the Iraq-escalation and the way the United States seemed intent on war. I also was thinking seriously of taking up a new studies again, but didn’t know which one.

March
On the first of March, my cellphone was stolen in broad daylight at work. I walked around on eggshells for a while. I went to see Mayumana with L., and on the 20th of March the US was at war with Iraq without the consent of the UN. I was outraged. Denis and I had a very weird conversation on ICQ, which set me thinking a lot about my current life and relationship: it offered me a wholly different perspective and popped up a lot of “what ifs”. SARS dominated the news, and I got very worried about my mother who had just come back from Egypt with a pneumonia. She recovered quickly, luckily. I bought the www.lyanna.nl domain, and started to process of moving my blog there. And at work the tension got high because of an external audit team that moved in and tore the place apart, looking for ways to make us work cheaper.

April
The Man gets a contract in Zoetermeer and more or less moves in with me. Yay! My bike gets stolen from under my nose practically. Paul (Outofbody.nl) turns from the occult to christianity abruptly, and has me very worried. It makes me think about my own stance to christianity and religion as a whole. Lannie and I visit the Fantasy Fair with a bunch of other friends and get soaked with rain. I start to blog in Dutch, basically because I want to vent about the war with Iraq and I find it easier to do that in Dutch.

May
A very relaxed month. The weather is good, and The Man, IJdo and I do a motortour through the Utrechtse Heuvelrug. We go see the Matrix Reloaded (it’s good, but not as good as expected) and go on a vacation to Rhodos. Nice vacation, horrible hotel heh.

June
A collegue makes a bump in my car (NOOOOO!!!). The weather stays awsome. The situation at work grows more tense now that august and the autumn months are coming near. That means: reorganisation. I watch Requiem for a Dream and it turns around in my mind for days. We go on an awsome holiday to France, where IJdo gives us a hell of a scare with a motor accident, the weather is awsome and I am tanned like I never was before, and on the last day a lot of IJdo’s assets get stolen.

Juli
Not a very nice month. I finally go to the doctor because I want to know what these awful intestinal pains are during my period. We think of endometriosis and my quest for a good gyn begins. I get set on a diet that doesn’t help. I switch back to blogging in English, cause I have lost a lot of international readers. The Man, L., Jo-Jo and I go see Aida in Scheveningen. Oh! And I get a beautiful tattoo on my right foot

August
Holland basks in a heatwave, and I enjoy it on the roof of my kitchen with a fivepack of bullits. I regretted that later (no sleep LOL). The Man and I go to Blijdorp Zoo with Stein and his mum and dad, we go see Pirates of the Carribean, and Lannie introduces me to the Tawny Man trilogy by Robin Hobb. Wow. Wonderful set of books. Lannie and I start building the Cranna world which we first just want to use as a writing project. We go to Lowlands and L. gives me a little good luck charm in the form of a buddha.

September
The tension at work builds up and up: people will get fired, that is all we know. We don’t know when though. My intestinal problems flare up and I decide to go back to the gyn cause the diet doesn’t work. We have a true Indian summer over here, which is great. The Man and I go visit Lannie and Olli and stay a whole weekend. I feel as if we are growing closer by the minute. We do a building training with Liesbeth and the dogs, which is awsome and a lot of fun. I study my ass of for the ITIL Service Manager exam I have on the 7th of october, and just before the month ends my boss learns that she is superfluous and might loose her job.

October
On the 9th of october we all hear whether we will be fired or not: a very emotional day with lots of hassles with another collegue when I find out that I can stay. I open a diary on LJ to be able to rant about that cause on this blog too many watchful eyes are reading. We have an OF meeting here in Delft, which ends with me being quite pissed and kissing one of the girls present *g*. On the 20th of october I have yet another appointment with the gyn, and they decide to do a laparoscopy on me on november 3d. Lannie and I are preparing like mad for NaNo. We decide to use the Crannaproject for it.

November
The lap was bad…I felt awful afterwards. They haven’t found anything and I don’t know what to do. I go back to work way too early and find myself in bed again afterwards. The Man’s contract at Zoetermeer stops and he is forced to move out again because they place him further away in the country. I hate it. Joop, my neighbours cat finds his way into my house and pisses and shits on everything, ugh! The Man buys me the most gorgeous ring you have ever seen, and Lannie and I finish NaNo (but not the story). I make the decision to go back to Dragonmount and against all odds, drag Lannie in with me again.

December
We buy a new digicam *dropped the old one at Lowlands* and we have a wonderful Sinterklaas in Zutphen with The Man’s parents. Lannie, Trisha and I are rewriting/filling in large gaps of the Borderlands RP so we can close it off with a good feeling. The Man gets a new contract in Eindhoven, which is too far away for him to move back in again. I hate it, the evenings alone are awful. Lannie throws an end-of-year party which is very very nice…even though it gets a little rowdy at the end. My work is hellishly busy with me filling in for a collegue on holiday and handling an internal move. I get a good end-of-year talk with the boss. We go see LOTR III and it was so awsome I could cry. Christmas comes around, I buy Wolves of the Calla and love it….

And there we are.
Reading back, I feel as if my life consists out of two parts: the one at work, the business like one. And the one at home, the creative one. I guess my personal life has blossomed tremendously where creativity is concerned. A large part of that I thank Lannie for I guess. I don’t know. Her drive inspires me I think. All in all, it was a good year, with a lot of tension towards the end of it. I am not sure where the next will bring me.